by Marvellous Obot

Alright, people. Let’s talk.

My name is Marvellous, and I’m the Communications and Advocacy Officer here at YNCSD. I’m also a feminist, a real one. And honestly? I’m frustrated. Actually, scratch that, I’m tired.

I believe feminism is about one core thing: equal rights and opportunities for every woman, everywhere. No asterisks, no conditions. Not her background, not her faith, not her choices. Just equality. Period.

But open Twitter or some corners of social media today, and what do you see? A version of “feminism” that feels nothing like that. It feels like a performance. A bitter, divisive, angry performance that’s setting the whole movement back.

Let me break it down.

First, it’s become about hating men.

I see posts that don’t advocate; they attack. They reduce feminism to man-bashing, as if tearing men down somehow builds women up. But here’s the irony that gets me: the same voices trashing men online are often the first to demand men’s money, labour, or protection in real life. You can’t claim to want equality while treating half the population like villains. It’s hypocritical, and it makes us look unserious.

Then, there’s the war on family and marriage.

I’ve seen tweets telling women to walk out at the “slightest inconvenience.” A daughter makes tea for her father? Slavery. A wife speaks of mutual respect and submission in her marriage? Brainwashed. They cheer for breakups, they mock happy relationships, and they dismiss acts of love and service as oppression. Since when did feminism become about dismantling family bonds instead of empowering women within them?

And don’t get me started on false accusations.

This one makes my blood run cold. I’ve seen people online treat false rape accusations as some kind of weapon or revenge tool. Do they not realise how dangerous that is? It destroys innocent lives and, worse, it hurts real survivors. It makes it harder for every woman who comes forward seeking justice, and using something as serious as a tool in a Twitter fight makes me livid.  That’s not activism. That’s sabotage.

But here’s what really gets me, the emptiness behind the anger.

Where’s the real support? I rarely see these “Twitter feminists” boosting women-owned businesses, showing up for women in crisis, or building community offline. They’re quick to drag a woman in a happy marriage but slow to help a single mother struggling to feed her kids. That’s not solidarity. That’s selective outrage.

So, what’s my take?

We’ve lost the plot. Feminism isn’t about trending hashtags while ignoring the woman next door. It’s not about performance. It’s about practice.

I want a feminism that lifts women up without pushing others down. fights for policies that protect women, not just ones that validate anger. includes men in the conversation, because equality needs everyone at the table, and celebrates women’s choices, whether that’s building a career, raising a family, or both.

I’m not here for the toxicity. I’m here for the work. The real, gritty, unglamorous work of making things better for everyone.

If your feminism is only alive in quotes and clapbacks, but silent when real women need help? You are wrong. We’re not the same.

Let’s do better. Let’s be better.

The movement is too important to lose to bitterness. Think about it.